The Horrible Truth

Each of us has a horrible truth at the core of our being. Our job as humans is to avoid it. Because it is horrible.


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Guided meditation

This is an inner transcript of a self-guided meditation I recently conducted on myself.

Okay, you're floating on water, in the middle of the ocean. All is peaceful. You're just being taken by the currents. Feel the undulating waves beneath you, carrying you nowhere in particular. Enjoy it, embrace it. You're on your back, looking at the sun. Feel the sun's warmth, radiating all around you, except for the part that's underwater. Feel the coolness of the water on your back. Feel it. It's salty. Now back to feeling the warmth of the sun. Feel the UV rays penetrate your skin. Feel your skin turn red and blister. Feel your skin peel. You forgot to put on your sunscreen. Turn over. You are now looking down into the depths of the ocean. The depths go on and on and on. For thousands and thousands of feet. If you were to drown, no one would ever find you. See the depths.

What do you see? You see black. Black depths. But coming out of the depths, you see sea turtles, glowing starfish, seahorses, giant squid, fish. You see schools of thousands of fish. See the fish. See the whales. See them feeding on the fish. Feel the crushing of thousands of fish lives. You see jellyfish, thousands of jellyfish, drifting toward you. Feel their loving tentacles stinging you. Feel the sunburn on your front, feel the jellyfish stinging on your back.

Turn over again. Feel the salt water go into the cracks of your skin, burning you from the inside. Taste the salt water in your mouth. Feel your lips cracking. Taste the blood from your lips mixing with the salt water in your mouth. Do you feel it? Good. Taste the iron and the salt.

You see something in the distance, just below the horizon. It's a barge. You drift closer to it. What do you see? People. Crew members. They see you. They are running about, what do they do? See the life preserver they toss to you. They lower a dinghy into the water to save you. How do you feel? Do you feel safe?

You feel something brush up against you in the water. You see fins. You feel teeth on your arm tearing your flesh. Feel the tearing. You feel your arm, but it has been torn off by the shark. Feel the phantom arm. What else do you feel? Sharks ripping your legs off? Do they pull you under? What are the men from the barge doing? Shooting at the sharks? Do they accidentally shoot you? Feel the blood flowing into the sea. See the sharks flock to you. Feel the frenzy. Feel the teeth rip into your spleen. See the black fall over you. Do you see a light?

And slowly open your eyes.

Please feel free to record this to use for your own self-guided meditations. Namaste!

Don't mess with the verse, yo.

Don't fight the universe. It's a fight you can't win. You go against the universe, the universe will wipe the pavement with you. And the shards of glass lodged in your ass? Karma. Don't do it. Just do what the universe says. Put down the crobar and back off. The universe will let you go on your Way if you just don't fight it. It'll give you three steps, mister. I don't know why you gotta constantly pick a fight with the universe.

You're always startin' trouble, taking jobs you hate, marrying women (or men) who are bad for you, havin' kids you never wanted... How many times does the universe gotta whack you back in line? When are you gonna learn? What has to happen? Does the universe have to really mess you up? Don't make the universe hurt you. The universe doesn't want to hurt you, baby. Now git outta here and go quit your job...leave your wife (or husband) and the kids! Recapture the life you always wanted and the universe will treat you right.

Your Very Own Red Carpet

As you watch the stars walk on the red carpet, you may wish that you could walk your very own red carpet, with all the attendant glory and adulation.

Did you know, though, that you have your very own red carpet? Mm-hm. It's true. It's called the Tao. In verse 21, Lao Tse writes, "Harmony is only in following the Way." The Way is like a red carpet rolled out in front of you, waiting for you to follow it. And if you do, you will reap incredible rewards. (not Awards.)

But first, sometimes the carpet is in a straight line. Other times, it may go through jungles, mountains, and under water before you get your rewards. Here are some of the places my red carpet has gone:

• Mount Everest
• The Urals
  
• Angola
• Sahara Desert
• North Dakota
• Belfast
• Arctic Ocean
• Snakepit
• Turf war in South Central LA

And I have found out recently that the reward is in the journey. I think I'm going to have a talk with the universe.

Are you Dumb or Dumber?

I've been thinking of Dumb and Dumber and how it teaches us about the Tao.

Three quarters of the way through, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels become lost in the middle of Nebraska, having gone the opposite way of Aspen, where they hope to change their lives.

In times of trouble, who are you? Jim Carrey, who wants to move forward on the path to his ultimate destination? Or Jeff Daniels, who wants to spend as much energy to give up and go back home?

The point is, be Jim Carrey! Keep moving forward! He's the star!

Although, Jim Carrey was the one who got the pair off their way. And they ended up stranded in the desert, worse off than if they'd stayed in Providence.

And! They didn't get on the bus with the bikini models. So...the point is...the Tao wants you to get on that bus with the bikini models and rub tanning lotion on them!